whats the point!

so i decided there is no purpose to life... it is full of good and bad times, ups and downs, and beliefs & Disbeliefs. what i realized today is that we are just sad people on this planet that are hoping for us to be worth something... but we are not. we are not worth anything. we live then we die. thats it. i always like to believe that i am worth something more than just who and what i am now. that maybe there would be a happier place.

Through hope, brought me to the reality of this life i am living, is the most think i hope for is an end. i dont want to always have to grow. cant we just be happy with who we are and where we are at? maybe some of us do not grow. we just stay children in our heads. but if we dont grow we die. thats the way of life. natural selection. well my point is that i dont want to grow anymore. i am so fucked up that i cant stand it anymore. i am trying too hard to still be a nobody. nature is telling me that i do not belong here anymore.

school

i am thinking of dropping out of school!

Fucked up grading system

so you would think that in math that if you get the answer right then the teacher would not mark it wrong... that is a misconception!  i am taking this class where it is "logic to math" so not only do you have to get the answer right but you have to explain how you got that answer.  

i got a 75% on my last test because i could not explain on paper how i got that answer.  now remember i am going to be an elementary teacher.  when do you ever right down on paper why a student got an answer wrong.  if i could show my teacher what i know in my head i would get an "A" in this whole fucking class.  i could stop taking this class right now.  all of this fucking grading system telling me how smart i am is so fucking lame.  im not mad at my teacher at all, or even myself because i know we both are just doing the best we can at what we have.  and what the teacher has to show how smart we are is FUCKED UP!  there has got to be a better way...

Relationships

its kinda funny...  there is this girl that is wanting me to "act cute together" i mean what does that really mean?  and if i cant act cute together then she does not want to hang out with me...  she does not want to be friends. only date.  in my oppinion that is too much to ask. i am just going to be myself and thats it...